Lately I feel like I live in a bubble of happiness. In it is Lily, my family, and a few choice friends. Everybody else seems to try to see past the iridescent swirl that sequesters me, some even dare to poke it. But the film is thick, and it wiggles, but refuses to pop.
Tonight Lily and I found the Bicentennial Moon Tree in Philly, which was from a sycamore seed that had been on the Apollo flight to the moon. Amazing, yes? MOOOOOOON TREEEEEEE! that's what I'd say instead of TIMBER. Not that I'd ever even chop it down. But if I leave for a few months, chances are when I return, Brent will have hacked it down, if not uprooted it.
This city is a bunch of misfits all crammed in, overlapping one another. I thinks it's delightful chaos, sweet anarchy. I had to walk it tonight. I had just gotten off a call from an old friend who's dealing with a very unhappy marriage. I remembered the exact stage she was in, and my heart just broke. She'll be through so much more pain before it ends, if it ever ends, and she's already in so much...
On our walk back, I saw two boys wave an old lady over to their car, sweetly asking for directions, and the moment she began to respond, rip the briefcase from her shoulder, shove her into the street, and drive off to her screams. Had I been aware that I was even on earth, I might have memorized the license plate or realized it wasn't just another drunk girl tripping over the curb.
The assulted woman came running over to me. She was so upset and so preoccupied about her briefcase, I had to lift up her skirt to check for injuries. I don't think she realized she'd even taken a bad fall she was in so much shock. Her knees were covers in scrapes, blood oozing from gashes, bruises already visible. She was old, and I wondered if she'd ever walk the same way again. She kept brushing me aside, saying they were fine. Shaking fingers dialed the police. Her spirit was in such a frenzy, I couldn't engage her. So as she got even more worked up, I just talked to the police for her, then they drove off in pursuit, as if they'd really find them.
It wasn't until 10 minutes later that I started crying by the drinks fridges at Pac a Deli, deliberating over bottle water. Why is there so much pain in this world? If I live in a bubble of happiness, is the moving swirl that surround me the tears of the world? is there only pain outside?
April 28, 2009
April 12, 2009
quote of the day
"Lily, can you lick away my tears?" - mom after half crying, half laughing
congrats on two consecutive quotes, mom!
congrats on two consecutive quotes, mom!
April 11, 2009
April 9, 2009
the best day
What a great day I just had! One of the best days of my life, I think. And to think it started with a severe stomach ache...
Tonight I took my mother out for guacamole at a spunky Mexican restaurant a few blocks away. On our walk there, we decide to cross when our ped sign is a red hand. Two steps into the street, car lights suddenly shine from about 2 blocks away. My mother starts screaming and running which, of course, is about the time I start shaking my head and laughing as I casually, coolly meet her on the sidewalk five seconds later. Then I remember how I was my first time taking risks in foreign cities and I smile and roll my eyes at how alike we can once in a while be.
Tonight I took my mother out for guacamole at a spunky Mexican restaurant a few blocks away. On our walk there, we decide to cross when our ped sign is a red hand. Two steps into the street, car lights suddenly shine from about 2 blocks away. My mother starts screaming and running which, of course, is about the time I start shaking my head and laughing as I casually, coolly meet her on the sidewalk five seconds later. Then I remember how I was my first time taking risks in foreign cities and I smile and roll my eyes at how alike we can once in a while be.
April 2, 2009
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